Relationship and Marriage Counselling in Hampshire
Resolve conflicts Restore the passion Regain the trust
Lymington, Lyndhurst, Calshot, Brockenhurst, Ringwood and Beaulieu
I’m a qualified BACP counsellor and work through the stories4change Counselling Service with Individuals, Couples and Groups to provide confidential counselling and support for life changes, loss, relationships, challenges, trauma, conflicts and transitions. I see private clients for both structured short-term and long-term (open ended) therapy. I offer both face-to-face counselling and telephone or on-line video counselling where preferred.
I studied Counselling at Peter Symonds College Winchester, graduating from both Winchester and Middlesex Universities with a BA (Hons) Degree in Humanistic Transactional Analysis Counselling and a Foundation Degree in Humanistic Counselling based on Transactional Analysis. In addition I’ve completed a Mindfulness-based Stress Reduction Course (MBSR) at Southampton University, Re-decision Therapy Training at the Berne Institute and both Family Systems (Psychodrama) and Short-Term Dynamic Therapy courses at Southampton University.
Before becoming qualified as a Therapeutic Counsellor, I gained an initial qualification in Agriculture, graduating from Seale-Hayne Agricultural College in Devon. In the 1980’s I moved to North Carolina, and started working in the media firstly as a photojournalist and later as a filmmaker, presenter and producer. It was my dual love of people’s life stories and the obstacles and challenges people faced when confronted by trauma and change that lead me to become a founding director of s4c (stories4change) in 2007 and then subsequently broaden my career to become a therapeutic counsellor. Today I combine the different areas of my counselling work with filmmaking, writing, training, research and environmental work.
“Peace is all around us – in the world and in nature – and within us – in our bodies and spirits. Once we learn to touch this peace, we will be healed and transformed. It is not a matter of faith; it is a matter of practice.” Thich Nhat Hanh, Touching Peace, 2005
Fareham, Lee on the Solent, Fareham, Wickham, Warsash, Gosport and Portsmouth
From my own experiential experience of working at marital, intimate and loving relationships I found the interest to delve deeper into this subject. We are all so unique as individuals and its one of the most challenging aspects of bringing the two halves together and creating a healthy relationship.
We as individuals look for a connection and would like to have our needs met and to find a way to meet other’s needs. In the beginning the honeymoon period we see all the lovely things and why we love this person and want to be with them and after that there is the person who maybe was not as they we thought they were and their Foibles, past history and patterning are the things that start to irritate us. These things flag up and we feel this is not the person we knew and yet we would like to find a way to reconnect and keep the intimacy and love strong and healthy.
It’s not easy to ask for help in this area of relationships but when we are in something we cannot see the wood from the trees. I offer a space where each couple can work out and help each other to see where the relationship has broken down and work towards better things and experiences. Explore together how to move forward after things may feel like there’s nowhere to go the relationship is over.
I work on Skype, private practise and also can do one to one and then back to the couple.
Basingstoke, Andover, Hook, Farnham and Medstead
Couples counselling is a talking therapy that allows you to talk about your problems and feelings, individually or as a couple. Relationships are an integral part of life, which can bring many rewards however, it can be challenging to establish and maintain healthy relationships depending on your experiences of past relationships.
Relationship counselling can help you identify the areas of difficulties in your relationship. The key ingredient for a healthy relationship is good communication with one another, also identifying and understanding what you need from the ‘couple relationship’. If these key things are not happening in the relationship, you both can start to feel isolated and alone, which can create bad cycles and patterns of behaviours, you both can often get ‘stuck in’. It is also common when you are both feeling this way to become resentful of the other. It can feel like it is an impossible task to find your way out of the ‘stuckness’, and it can lead to feelings of ‘hopelessness’ in the relationship.
Winchester, Eastleigh, Bishops Waltham, Cheriton, Micheldever, Stockbridge and West Dean
Please get in touch if you are having relationship difficulties. This may be due to communication challenges which means that you are not being heard. It could be external factors such as conflicts with relatives or a stressful job. You may be frustrated and not even know why you are struggling to maintain a peaceful relationship. I am here to help you work through your problems and make sense of what is causing tension for you both.
We have within us an innate capacity for personal growth and transformation. Sometimes though, life gets too much for us; we feel overwhelmed by our emotions and we can’t think straight. That’s where counselling can help. Counselling can help us make sense of it all: see things more clearly, and become more at ease with the way we feel. Gradually, we may learn to accept ourselves more fully; accepting things that we can’t change, and changing the things we can.
My own experiences and time in therapy as both a client and therapist in mental health has given me immeasurable compassion, warmth and empathy to couples experiencing difficulties to come and sit with me in comfort and safety. We often hope that once we have found that special someone that it will last for a long time. However, relationships are not always easy and difficulties may arise. The root of these difficulties often stems from one partner not feeling connected, not trusting and feeling unsafe with the other partner. As they may be unavailable or not responding to your needs to feel close or supported it can cause you emotional distress. Due to our relationship histories and the negative cycles we get into with our partners, many of us have difficulties with trust and in expressing emotions to those who mean the most to us. As a result of this we develop habit-forming ways of reacting to our partners. In couple counselling I look at the relationship rather than the individual and the impact problems can have on the relationship- therefore, the relationship becomes the client. Just like most things in life the relationships need time and energy to work. Therefore, as well as looking at what has happened and how the relationship is now we will also look at how you would like the relationship to be and how to move forwards. I have practiced as a counsellor and I have experience in the NHS as a therapist using Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for relationship difficulties, anxiety and depression.
Is your marriage in trouble?
Our skilled therapists will help you to discover what lies beneath issues within your Marriage. These can be external issues such as work, stress, differing family dynamics, affairs or an issue between the both of you, such as communication. Our experienced therapists help you to identify and understand these issues and find ways of moving forward in your relationship in a positive and constructive way.