Marriage at breaking point due to lockdown?

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Relationships are facing new fears and issues. Whereas Finances, parenting styles and lack of communication were at the forefront of counselling sessions, couples are not faced with the additional fears of getting sick, losing jobs and the withdrawal of support for either themselves or childcare. This is putting a huge additional stress on relationships.

There is usually less to do in terms of distractions so we may have more time to think and therefore possibly amplify any issues which may have been niggling at the relationship prior to the pandemic. These situations can build up resentment and anger and there are few avenues to process these emotions. You may find it helpful during this lockdown period to speak to a therapist who understand and specialises in relationship issues. They will be able to help you either on an individual basis or as a couple to learn how to communicate effectively at this time and to process some of the emotions that arise from being in Lockdown.

A lot of people used to rely on outside activities such as golf or going to the gym or socialising with friends as a form of therapy but now this is not possible, individuals need to find new ways to release and process their emotions as well as feel supported.

How each partner react and feels about Covid and the lockdown can also be very impacting. One person may feel relaxed about the rules whilst the other may feel very anxious and feel the need to be extra cautious. This can cause issues on a practical as well as emotional level, Neither partner may be able to have empathy for the other. A lack of understanding can lead to misunderstandings and irritations which in turn can alienate couples from each other.

The dynamics within the household may have changed. If one partner has been redundant, they may feel angry, upset, disappointed or even suicidal. The other may feel resentful that the household is reliant on them, not supported or trapped in this situation. These kinds of situations need good communication to get a better understanding and to be able to support each other through these difficult times.

Here are some tips on how to help your relationship survive lockdown:

  • Be kind to yourself – and others. You are not expected to be the perfect parent, partner, employee at this difficult time
  • Create a new normal during the lockdown period
  • Focus on something positive in your future. This may feel like a strange one with so much uncertainty but try to focus on things you would like to do or experienced once this pandemic is over
  • Arrange to speak to a therapist either for yourself or for the both of you to see what can help your relationship at this time
  • Try to keep to a schedule
  • Try to keep work and home life as separate as possible – this can be challenging if you have children so you may need to support each other with this
  • Be kind to each other – after all, you are doing the best you can….

Should you need to speak to a qualified therapist about feeling depressed, anxious or relationship issues, please contact:

Relationship Counselling UK on  07368 697414

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